tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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