how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize