i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
