; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
