You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
