If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
