Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
