I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
