it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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