Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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