I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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