I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
