Ambien. No doubt about it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
