so explain again why im purple
no
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
