I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
