you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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