I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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