your parents love me but you hate me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
