If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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