That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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