So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
