Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
