he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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