yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
