I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
