I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
