I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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