mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
