I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
