He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
