Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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