wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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