can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
