im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
