glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I want to have your abortion
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
