Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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