Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
