No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
