the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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