Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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