i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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