and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
