The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
