how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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