it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
