She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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