I look better un-naked...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
