I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
