umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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