This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize