new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
