I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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