there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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