it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
