it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
