VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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