okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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