after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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