Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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