Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
