How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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