apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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