Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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