we have officially lost it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
