Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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