just tell him i said nine months
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
