That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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