Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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