I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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