in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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