just tell him i said nine months
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
