I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
